Supermom Chronicles: Back to Work

June 21 was my last Sunday "on the job" before a summer of forced time off due to the lag time between ministry settings. I will confess, it was not my first choice as to how I wanted to spend my summer, as earning a pay check is pretty important to our family. That said, I spent the summer donning my Supermom cape as I spent time laughing with the girls, attending their swim lessons, and offering them a flexibility that Eric and I typically cannot give them due to our professions in ministry.

After ten weeks off, I started back to work this week. I am serving as the director of discipleship ministries at Missouri United Methodist Church, a stately, traditional, alive, and busy church in Columbia's downtown district. It has been just a week, but I find myself feeling so very full of hope and excitement about what this church has to offer the people of Columbia and I am thrilled to be a part of it.

While I have spent the last few weeks attending worship at MUMC in a effort to acclimate the girls to this new place, today was my first Sunday officially on staff, so I made it a point to be at all the worship services. It was a communion Sunday and worship was full of spirit and the mystery that surrounds the sacrament. During the 8:00am service, there was a time for hymn requests and after a song or two, a wonderful gentleman shouted out (what I learned later to be "his usual") 377 -- It is Well with My Soul. I love this song. I love to hear it, I love to sing it. But somehow, today was different. I opened my mouth to sing and I could barely get the words out. I was overwhelmed by tears as I sat and listened to the congregation sing,

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

In these moments, as the organ played, and voices were united in praise, I had a personal epiphany. I realized what a journey of faith these last 10 weeks had been for me... and truly, more like a journey of 6 months from when I learned my prior ministry setting would need to change. I realized that if I were to be honest with myself, and honest with you, that all was not well with my soul for a long time. I was hurt and I was angry. I didn't lose faith in the church, and certainly not in God, but I allowed myself to doubt my security as a deacon in ministry. But somewhere in the midst of that hurt and anger, I always had hope. I knew God would be faithful to me, so I worked hard to be faithful to God. I kept my hurt hidden and pushed my hope to the front. And as a new ministry setting became a reality, I allowed myself to get excited and look forward with my usual optimism rather than with the prevalent concern about how insurance and groceries were going to get paid. And then today, today as I sat in worship services that culminated my first week of ministry in this new place, I began to realize that indeed, all is well with my soul. Over the ten weeks I was "off," my hurt and my anger drifted away and had been replaced with true hope, excitement and trust that God has me exactly where I need to be and will continue to take care of me and my family -- just like God has done all along.

It is truly well with my soul as I begin a new ministry full of new responsibilities and meeting new people. It is well with my soul as our family once again tries to balance life, ministry, and family around the crazy schedules of two churches. It is well with my soul as I realize that God took ten weeks this summer to quiet my turbulent soul with the giggles of our girls, the sunsets in Florida, time away with Eric, and quality time with family. And it is well with my soul to know that God's hope and joy flood my heart as God continues to be faithful.

I don't often get "churchy" as a part of this blog, as it is intended to be more about the family. I had intended this post to be more about my first week of work, as many of you have kindly kept me in your prayers and inquired as to how things were going. As you can see, I went a different direction. For now, know that the first week was good. It was affirming, it was overwhelming, and it was thoroughly exciting. I look forward to continue my ministry in this place, I look forward to our girls being involved at MUMC, just as they are involved at Linn. And I look forward to being challenged in new and wonderful ways as God calls me. Another day I will write more about ministry in this new place, or about how the girls are enjoying it (Norah gets to sing in choir twice a week -- she is thrilled!). For now, I just wanted to share that for this Supermom who is entering back into ministry, all is well with my soul.