Being a Double PK

Let me start by saying I don't speak from experience, but I have heard that being the child of a pastor can be difficult. I have also heard it can be wonderful. I would think that as young child, the difficult would often be more memorable than the wonderful. And if it's like this when one parent is a pastor, I can only imagine what life is like when you have have both parents as pastors. Josie, at age eight, is now beginning to understand some of the trade-offs involved with parents who work in the church.

Thankfully, Josie knows no other life. She has been raised in the church - usually two churches - for her whole life. She is used to both Mom and Dad working weekends and keeping odd hours with evening meetings. The last minute hospital run or funeral is not unexpected. But this year, the two-church thing has become more of a challenge for her. You see typically, Josie alternates which week she spends at which church (Norah stays with me for the simplicity of child care). And this works wonderfully because Josie absolutly adores both churches. Her school friends attend Eric's church while my church has new-found-friends and some additional opportunities for children that speak to her heart. The problem comes when she has to choose which church to attend. This past week, Palm Sunday, we gave Josie the choice of which church to attend since both had special events taking place. She struggled with a decision, knowing that whichever one she went to, she would miss something wonderful at the other. Choosing where to worship for Easter is shaping up the same way. These are seriously tough choices for this eight year old who truly enjoys both options.

A newer struggle for Josie is the realization that we cannot participate in many of the extra-curricular activities that her friends do. Sunday sports are out for us, unless they are promised to be later in the day. With both of us as pastors, one parent can't just "take the day off" to do the sport thing. Midweek practices also become a challenge when balanced with evening meetings. Eric and I can generally juggle our schedules to keep the kids out of the nursery most of the time, but add in extra activities and life gets interesting.* Now I know that life for everyone is a balancing act, but for many families, there is usually one parent who can help pick up the slack when the other is tied up. For us, that is sometimes the case and yet other times, not so much.

For instance, this is Holy Week. It is a busy week for both of us with a lot of worship responsibilties. Easter morning comes early, and it isn't because of the Bunny. Nope, the festivities don't even occur here until AFTER a full morning of worship. We have extra services, extra planning, and extra extras. This happens again in advent, with VBS season, and anytime there are weddings and funerals.

But a great trade off is this: flexible schedules. We have been able to join Josie for lunch at school, volunteer in her classrooms, and attend field trips in ways that lawyers, surgeons, teachers, and hourly workers often can't. We can take a extra time off when we know that there is an intense week/end of church activities in the making. While our schedules may seem unorthodox and infleixible, they are actually quite flexible and come with some real perks.

And that is what we remind Josie of when she says, "having two parents as pastors is hard," when she is unable to participate in an activity due to a church conflict. And while she says it is hard, I have to be honest and say, she is full of grace and understanding about it. She knows that while it is sometimes a real bummer to miss out on cheerleading and dance camps due to Wednesday Night Live, that she is going to have a great time doing something she already enjoys. And so far, the disappoint is short lived and the joy of what she does get to do takes over.

Eric and I wondered how long it would be before the first complaints of how our "jobs" effects hers would come up. And truthfully, it took longer than we thought it would. Being a PK is difficult, for sure. Being a double PK may prove to be unbearable down the road. But thankfully, this is the only life either of our girls have ever known and out of said life, have come two wonderfully spirited, compassionate, and flexible girls. Praise be.



*Disclaimer: I readily admit this is also part of our choice as parents to NOT have over-scheduled and stressed out children.